I live by one mantra in particular that has seen me through many stressful moments: “I have my health, therefore I have everything.”

A mantra can lift us up.

When the rest of the world seems to press against us, a mantra can be that saving grace that helps us get back up on our feet.

What makes a mantra powerful?

A mantra should be short, poignant, and click with your heart.

Just for kicks, I tossed out a tweet and post on my Facebook Fan Page asking others if they used a mantra to help them dig deeper and get them through their tough moments. I wanted to share some of these inspiring ones.

Borrow a mantra from this list:

• “Clear your mind, center your soul.”
• “Nothing is happening TO you. Things are just happening.”
• “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” Basil King
• “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy, healthy, wealthy, and so thankful for all gifts my life.”
• “I am not afraid of tomorrow, because I have seen yesterday and I LOVE today!”
• “You will never get what you want as long as you’re jealous of what other people have.”
• “If you cannot believe in yourself … you cannot believe in anything.”
• “Forward momentum – something is better than nothing.”
• “Even if you cut off my arms, I will still create art.”

Sometimes I think the characters in my novels could use some of these mantras to get them out of their many conflicting positions. (ha) One in particular who comes to mind is Becca in Tangerine Twist for those moments when she went a little off the deep end due to her sudden dive into fame. She could’ve used the “Clear your mind, center your soul” one for sure!

Do you use a mantra to get you through those tough moments? Feel free to share. Let’s inspire each other!

One of the best gifts we can give ourselves is a few moments each day to be still and to listen to our hearts. Within these quiet folds of time and space, we discover our roots. These roots are what support us, nourish us, and allow us to bend with the winds of change.

Alone Time

I used to avoid being alone because I feared I was losing out on something. When I discovered meditation, I became more aware of the simple pleasures that make life more beautiful. I learned that this time alone gifted me with clarity, focus, and the ability to get to know myself.

Escape from Chaos

So much chaos surrounds us. It’s so easy to get lost in it all. It’s so easy to become addicted to it all. And thankfully, it’s so easy to turn it off and to find yourself again by simply sitting idle, drawing some breaths, and opening up to hear the lessons in the quiet space between the beating of your heart.

I’m addicted to finding more of these moments. How about you?

When we forgive someone, we free ourselves. The weight of the world magically falls off of our shoulders. It’s so challenging to do though, isn’t it?

I once held a grudge against someone for three months over something hurtful she said to me. I carried that grudge around like it was my suit of armor. It justified my bitterness. I’d go to sleep at night and allow this grudge to take up refuge in my dreams. I’d wake in the morning and further allow it to accompany me through the day and diminish my spirit. To sum up this span of time – I wasted three good months of my life.

To forgive someone is hard.

At that moment of giving in to forgive someone, you feel like you’re selling out. So, you hold tight to your ideals for the sake of standing your ground and you wait for that moment when vindication seeps in and makes you feel good again.

To forgive someone takes time.

I waited three months for this person to apologize for her hurtful words. The apology never arrived. Instead, I was left with nothing more than a dreaded feeling that I had lost a battle and she had won. To forgive her was out of the question.

Then one day I was having lunch with a good friend of mine, complaining about how much worse I felt towards this person still after three long months. My friend placed her fork down, then reached out for my fork and placed mine down, too. She grabbed hold of my hands, stared me straight in the eye and begged me to let go. “Be the better person and forgive her.”

When we forgive, we let go.

The pressure of my three-month burden suddenly suffocated me. I wanted to let go and forgive her.

The weight of carrying around this anger for so long had created such an imbalance, such a burden, such an emotional drain on my soul that suddenly I needed to shed it. I wanted to sleep a full night again. I wanted to wake up feeling light and happy. I wanted my peace back.

The path to forgive is right in front of us.

I spent one whole week writing and rewriting an email to this person trying to find the right words to describe the pain she had caused me, and how I wanted to just move on and forget everything. These drafts grew to the size of a chapter, stretching out for thousands of words. A novel was in full bloom! Every new draft seemed to negate the very thing I was trying to do. I was telling her how wrong she was and how I was going to be the one to set it right. She’d never read this and think, yeah, let’s hug now and be best of friends again.

So, a week later, thousands of words into it, I decided on this instead: “I miss you and I love you.”

I hit send and the weight of the world fell from my shoulders.

I learned that sometimes the best way to show your strength is to be humble with it and allow it to come in as a gentle breeze.

A vision board is a visual representation

It’s a visual representation of things and circumstances we want to attract. I look at vision boards as a playground for my dreams. I have one hanging in my dining room so I can’t miss it. Mine consists of a white dry erase board filled with inspiring quotes, messages of gratitude, as well as the all important goals laid out on colorful paper. I pass by my vision board often, and I make a point to stop and reflect on it at least once a day. If I see my dreams and all that I have to be grateful for so far, then I am more apt to take action.

A vision board acts as a system

I’m all about systems. Although, I’d classify myself as a creative person, I’m tactical in my approach. Without a system, I’d be spinning in circles with an out-of-control mind racing from one thing to another. A vision board helps me to achieve my dreams in a logical, practical fun way.

A vision board is a road map

I would not be able to succeed at running a publishing company, maintaining an active blog, writing sapphic romance novels, holding down a full-time marketing job, and enjoying quiet moments with my family if I didn’t have some sort of road map to help me sort out the steps. When laid out in front of me, the necessary action steps become apparent. I  know that to get from point A to point B on my road map, I need to do XYZ.

I’m a visual person. I need to see things clearly to understand them, to absorb them, to act on them. Many things are tossed into my path on a daily basis. Without the help of my vision board, these things could easily swallow me up whole and block me from enjoying a fine balance while achieving my dreams.

Improve your life…sounds intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re like most people, you want to be at your best because deep down you know you can’t bring out the best in others if you’re not on that same wavelength.

A great way to get on track is to ask yourself the pointed question of whether something is adding value to your life. An even more helpful question often spawns from this and that is – if it’s not adding value, why are you still breathing power into it by allowing it to stay in your life?

The frankness in this question can be jarring and eye-opening. It is perhaps one of the most important questions a person can ask, though. Life is so short and too precious to waste energy, time, resources on those things, and those people who aren’t bringing out the very best in you.

I would even stretch to look at it this way: you’re doing the world a great disservice by not surrounding yourself with those things and those people who help you to put your best efforts forward.

Improve your life, and you also help to improve the lives of those around you.

So what do you do if you discover you are surrounded by things, activities, and people who are compromising your ability to rise to your highest level?

Improve Your Life by Eliminating Bad Habits

Bad habits can drag you down. Period. If your actions are not lifting you to higher ground, then they’re burying the very best in you. This sounds harsh. Often the things people want to hold onto the most, are the ones they want to protect the most. But, in protecting, they’re inadvertently hurting themselves and possibly others. Make sure you set aside some “me time” so you can focus on yourself. This list may help if you are someone who has trouble relaxing and unwinding.

Improve Your Life by Learning to Say No

Are you stretched to full capacity, leaving no room for new opportunities? Do you have a hard time saying no to requests that aren’t exactly in alignment with your greatest assets, dreams, and desires? If yes, then you’re compromising those very ideals that make you so unique and valuable. It’s okay to say no.

Improve Your Life by Letting Go

Are you holding on to a relationship out of fear, comfort, or guilt? Are the people you surround yourself with helping you to grow? Or are they stunting your growth by holding you back from enriching your life through new pursuits? Letting go of relationships that aren’t healthy any longer can be hard because of feelings of guilt, loneliness, and fear. Sometimes letting go is the only way to take that leap forward and fulfill your full potential.

A Final Note on How to Improve Your Life

Taking an honest look at your value system is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. Learning to love yourself and take the best action is never an easy lesson. But to really improve your life, it’s necessary to ensure you’re nurturing that part of yourself that helps you to positively impact the world.

“Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” – Henry David Thoreau

Happiness is a gift we all want. Smiling and laughing feels a lot better than sinking into a well of bad feelings. Pursuing happiness seems a worthy goal. By pursuing happiness, though, sometimes we end up on the opposite side of the street where we stare across the way at the shining sun, at the happy smiles on others, at the spring in someone’s step and think, ‘why don’t I feel that way? How can I feel that way?’

In our desperate search to figure out why we’re not smiling like we just won the lottery, laughing like Ellen just told us the funniest joke, or walking as if a happy tune was playing in our heads, we can lose our ability to find the happy source.

We might state “I want to be happy”. We repeat this as we continue to stare off in envy at others who seem to be thriving on a happy note. We wonder what they drank or ate that morning that got them off to such a happy start. Out of frustration, their smiles might even start to piss us off.

Curious, we keep searching for the happiness. We wrack our brains willing happiness to enter only to be disappointed when we show up empty-handed at the middle of the day without it still. Why can’t we find it? Shouldn’t stating the mantra ‘I want to be happy’ be enough to achieve such a goal?

I don’t think it is. Happiness is a state of mind. States of mind are nearly impossible to control. A goal should be something we can take action on and inch closer to with each step. Thus, becoming happy cannot be a direct goal because it’s a state of mind.

So where does this leave us? Are we supposed to just wallow in a state of flux on those days we wake up on the wrong side of the bed feeling apathetic and lost without our happy vibe?

I’m no expert on happiness, but I do have a trick that seems to work on those days when I get out of bed feeling a little cranky. I stop, breathe, and focus in on something I enjoy doing (like oil painting, exercising, meditating, walking my dogs) or shifting my focus to others (helping someone with a project, smiling at a stranger, talking with an elderly person, playing with a child), and by doing this, happiness indirectly finds me.

Suddenly, the happy vibe threads itself through my system and hangs out on my shoulder, sitting in my peripheral, allowing me to enjoy the unfolding of joy in simple things like the beauty of the sun’s rays, the smilDashboarde on a stranger’s face, the laughter of a child at play.

Happiness isn’t something you can will into being. It’s something that naturally occurs when we let go of forcing it and simply turn to other things and wait for it to reveal itself in its own beautiful way.