You can learn to converse with anyone by following a few helpful tips. If you’re the type of person who struggles with striking up a conversation with someone who has a different approach to communication than you, keep reading!

Rather listen?

A Shining Light

My friend Valerie was a shining light in life. She passed away at the age of 45 many years ago. But I’m not here to talk about her passing today. I’m here to talk about her life, and more specifically, what I admired most about her.

She was an artful conversationalist. who had a knack for making me feel like whatever was coming out of my mouth was the most important thing she’d heard that day. She seemed to connect with everyone in this way, regardless of their communication style. Valerie had that ability to converse with anyone.

Communicaiton Styles

Communication styles come in several formats. According to Toastmaster’s International there are direct communicators, those confident ones who enjoy a competitive edge to their conversations. There are Initiator communicators. They are those gregarious types who enjoy expressing their feelings and emotions. There are also analytical communicators. They are those who prefer no nonsense, fact-based conversations. And finally there are supportive communicators. They appreciate a calm, steady approach to their conversations.

My Observation

I’ve seen Valerie converse artfully with people from all of these communication styles.

Based on observation, I believe Valerie was a supportive communicator. I, too, according to Toastmaster’s online assessment, am a supportive communicator, but nowhere near Valerie in terms of her artful approach.

You see, Valerie had an ability for bringing out the best qualities of a person’s communication style and turning a conversation into what appeared to be a beautiful piece of conversation art.

What did she do to make it possible to have a productive conversation with someone who possessed an entirely different set of conversation principles than she?

3 Things to Help You Converse with Anyone

Today I’m going to share with you three things that I believe makes a person such a great communicator regardless of their communication style based on what I observed from one of the greatest communicators I had the pleasure of knowing.

Listen More than Speak

The first quality that made Valerie such a great communicator was that she listened more than she spoke. She’d pose a thought or question and let it marinate between us, encouraging me to talk it out. She’d sit across from me reassuring me with a nod or smile, clueing me in that she was fully invested in what I had to say. I always walked away feeling valued and deeply understood.

Show Great Interest

The second quality that made Valerie such a great communicator was that she showed great interest in our conversation. She wasn’t glancing around the room wondering what everyone else was doing. No. She made great eye contact, showed great enthusiasm, and made me feel like I was the most important thing happening in her life at that moment.

Respect the Opinions of Others

The third quality that made Valerie such a great communicator was that she respected other people’s points of view. I’m a million percent positive she didn’t agree with everything that came out of my mouth. Yet, she never made me feel less than for having a different opinion. She approached our conversations with an open mind, one that reminded me of a curious child eager to learn as many new things about the world as possible. I felt respected and, in that shared respect, we enjoyed beautiful exchanges about life.

Converse with Anyone and Bring Out Their Best

My friend Valerie taught me that whether we’re direct, initiating, analytical, or supportive communicators, we can bring out the best in others through listening more and talking less, showing interest in the other person, and respecting their right to have a different set of ideas than our own.

The next time you become tongue-tied around someone with a different approach to communication, try one of these qualities out for yourself, or all of them. Turn your conversations into a piece of art by helping others to see that they are the most important person to you in that moment of shared time together.

As I reflect back on this year, I’ve learned some things about myself. I learned that I’m not defined by any one project or milestone in life. I’m the sum of every action I’ve ever put out into this world. And that offers me great hope that yesterday doesn’t equal today and today doesn’t equal tomorrow. Every day is a fresh new start.

Typically, this time of year I write out my top 5 goals to work toward in the new year. I also reflect back on how I did with the goals from the last year, and get excited when I have them all checked. This year’s reflection will look very different, as I didn’t achieve any of the 5 goals I’d written down. Every year, the first item is Write a Novel. And every reflection session, I happily check that off and eagerly wait for release day a few months into the New Year.

A Look Back

I didn’t write a novel this year for the first time since 2003. I couldn’t bring myself to write one single word.

I did, however, release my blended romance novel, Uprooting in March 2020. The same week as the pandemic rocked our world. Needless to say, very few people read it to date. And that has gutted my writer’s soul in a very real sense. I sincerely wish I could do a redo of launch day for that story. But that’s not how it works in the literary landscape. If you haven’t read it and want to, as a thank you gift for your support in reading this post, I’m happy to send you a copy. Email me to request a copy and the ebook format you prefer.

At first glance, I took this book launch disaster as a failure. But then, as my reflective session grew, I realized how much I did accomplish this year as a result of trying to find new ways of viewing a world that had changed so much overnight.

Things I Did Right

I enrolled in graduate school and earned a 4.0 in the first class I’ve taken since 2002. I designed an entire certification course that could potentially be implemented. I renovated my entire home from ceilings to floors. I learned how to use power tools. I helped organize and run a virtual conference helping to bring together writers and readers from around the globe. With the help of my siblings, I helped teach my parents how to zoom! I helped my spouse emotionally overcome a scary sepsis illness. I gained 3 new video clients for my production company, Sunny Bee Productions. I adapted my production company to a virtual model, which allows me to work with clients anywhere in the world so long as they have an Internet connection. I joined Toastmasters International and will be competing in a speech contest in early January. I moved my Curves Welcome podcast over to its own channel. I blogged a whole bunch this year on health and wellness topics. And I thrived on the other side of those days when I spent more time crying than smiling as I worked through new emotions that erupted during these times of isolation and unknowns.

And Still…

I did a bunch of new things. But I didn’t write a novel this year…

I’m going to reread this post on March 1 when my new books usually launch to remind myself that it’s okay. There will be future books somewhere down the line. And until then, I’m going to enjoy gathering all these new experiences in order to gain a fresh view on life.

A Look Ahead

As I put my sharpie to my dry erase board to write out my goals for 2021, I will pause and cut myself some slack.

I’m going to set myself up for success by offering myself the kind gift of freedom. My goal for 2021: to learn and share.
Whatever form that takes is of no concern. I just look forward to learning and sharing.

Be kind to yourself as you reflect on 2020 and look toward 2021. And if you’re reading this, thank you for being part of my journey.

Feeling a little low currently and wanting to improve your mood? We all have moments in life where we’re not feeling our usual selves. This funk can throw us out of our daily routine. Whether you’ve got to go to work and get through a hard day or you need to tidy your home because it’s a mess, here are things to improve your mood in 30 seconds.

Smile To Yourself In The Mirror

Smiling is infectious. When you see someone smile or laugh, you probably find yourself cracking a smile at the same time. Smiling can lift you out of a funk quickly when you crave to improve your mood. Find the nearest mirror available and smile at yourself. It might feel a bit odd at first. But you’ll soon find yourself smiling more naturally as you grin crazily back at your appearance. 

Smiling can really help to start your day in the right way. It might be a good idea to also have a mantra you say to yourself too. It can be something as simple as today will be a good day or you’ve got this. These motivational words can really help to set you off in the right direction. Then the day will be yours for the taking! It’s also something you could do at the end of the night too. And you can take it one step further by improving your smile. That’ll certainly help bring some joy to your day.

Turn On Your Favorite Music

We’ve all got different musical tastes. For some, it might be classical, or it could be punk rock. Whatever your preference, music can really help bring out those serotonin levels that you lack at the moment. Whether you need to feel inspired or you simply want to give yourself a burst of energy, pop on your favorite music. It’s good if you can curate a feel-good playlist to enjoy whenever you need to improve your mood.

Take A Walk Outside

Fresh air can do you your mood a world of good. It can help you to think and reflect on your troubles. Even if it’s a quick walk around the block or a trip to your local park and back, it’s beneficial. Try to take a walk as often as you can. It’s definitely important to make the most of the outdoors, especially as much of our time is spent indoors. Or in front of our electronics. Next time you need ti improve your mood, get out there in nature and take it all in.

Do Something To Relax

And finally, a big way of helping to boost your mood is by doing something to relax. You may have had a stressful day or gone through something recently that really dampened your spirits. In those times, it’s good to relax. Find an activity that you love doing to help take you away from those dampened spirits. By indulging in something you love, you’ll enter into a renewed state of bliss.

Make sure you use these tips to improve your mood so you can enjoy this great thing called life!

Experiencing a perfect night at home comes down to a little bit of planning. And it’s worth it. We all need a little downtime to regroup. It’s nice to spend time with yourself or your family and not having to do anything that requires much energy. Our lives are often full of commitments, whether it be taking the children to their sports activities in the week to meeting up with friends and family for various social events. However, a night in is often needed. Here are four tips for a perfect night at home.

Stream Your Favorite Movie

First up, a favorite movie is a perfect element to a perfect night. When selecting your movie, you might wish to go for a completely brand new movie. Or you might choose one that you’ve watched a dozen or so times. When trying to choose, your options might seem overwhelming. Consider the genre and the longevity of the film. Do you want a movie that’s going to inspire you, make you cry, or make you scream? How much time do you have to dedicate to watching it? Do you want an early night to bed?

It’s good to discuss your options as a family if you’re watching something together. You want to think about what everyone else wants to watch, rather than just what your preference is. After all, it’s more fun when everyone is into the movie. If you’re having a night in with your partner, then select a few that each of you will like. Or pull one out of a hat, making it a lucky dip activity. That way, you won’t be arguing over which movie should be the one you pick.

If you’re looking for a way of streaming more content, then you might want to try TroyPoint, as this can be a great way to get more options if you’re limited with DVDs.

Plenty Of Snacks

Snacks are a wonderful treat to go along with a perfect night at home. To liven it up more, consider creating a theme around your night. Maybe that’s cheese and wine or sweets galore. It’s certainly worth splurging a little and treating yourself. How much better does it get when you’re watching a movie and having your own home-popped popcorn? Or a delicious feast of snacks that you can munch on throughout the film? Yum. Sure, you might end up a few calories higher in your daily intake, but that’s what a perfect night at home should be like!

Get Cozy In Lounge Wear

A great way of ensuring a perfect night at home is to couple it with cozy lounge wear. There’s nothing better than taking off your day wear and snuggling into something soft and flexible. You want to be as comfortable as possible when relaxing on the couch. So make sure you get your most cozy lounge wear out. Who cares if it’s 6 pm? There’s never an excuse needed for lounging about in your comfies.

Set The Mood With The Right Lighting

Setting the mood is certainly important when you’re having a night in. So why not set it using the right lighting? A bit of mood lighting with dimmer switches can go nicely. Or you might want to light a few candles. There’s nothing better than having a sneaky nap on the couch too!

If you’re looking for a perfect night at home, make sure you use these tips to get the most out of the evening.