You Can Do It – How To Avoid Inaccurate Self-Assessments
It’s very easy to feel ourselves into a state of being weak or vulnerable. In fact, this might be the default state of a human. On the other hand, to feel strong, noble and full of integrity is not as easy as a feeling. It is something you have to work towards. Of course, we’re all shaped differently, and have different life experiences. An elderly woman suffering from agoraphobic symptoms may find that heading to the local supermarket takes the same amount of courage a seasoned athlete uses to climb Mount Everest. Is one braver than the other? Well, it depends on your level of analysis. We discount those small bouts of courage at our peril.
Yet in order to know you can do something, or, shudder, that you’ll even try it, you need to have an accurate self-assessment. Sometimes, you need to use that self-assessment to propel you forward, even if uncertain. Sure, you’re someone who might find it hard to complete that tough task now. But who would you be if you could do that? Would life open up a little more, and become a little brighter to you?
Here’s how to embody ‘yes, I can do it,’ in everything you do:
Consider Your Victories
Consider the victories that you’ve had in the past. More often than not, there will be at least a few points in your life where you’ve acted heroically in a noble manner, or at least in an honest context. This can help you realize that you have the capacity for good and admirability, which helps you feel better about yourself.
There’s no reason why you have to be defined by your last action. This isn’t a ‘get out of jail free card.’ It helps you move forward and become a better person. You just have to learn the lesson, make amends to the extent you can, and move on. Forgiving yourself is a big part of this, as is understanding the possibility and potential you have to uncover. Even criminals that spend time in prison can come out and make something of themselves through a work release program. It happens all the time. So don’t condemn yourself to the point of immobility. Because what do you know about who you are? A little, most likely, but it’s even rarer that you know how you could be. So why not find it out?
Consider How You Survived Difficulties
Just as we have all had victories in our past, we have all survived our worst days. This means that we are stronger than those days, and that should give you some pause for thought. People with strict eating disorders have managed to get over that mental illness, reached their healthy weight, and have started families they grant proper nutrition, all-too-aware of how important that is.
Gaining weight for skinny guys can seem like a difficult approach, for example, but there are excellent methods to grow (quite literally), and become the person you aim to be. Just remember, you can survive the difficulties, because you have in the past. This will shape you for the better, and it should show you that given the chance, you’ll surprise yourself
Use The ‘What-If’ Mindset
The ‘what if’ mindset is an amazing attitude you can take to help you move past your own doubts and actually achieve something. It works, because it’s tantamount to a self-care. And we all know just how effective calling yourself out can be, because it works when others do it. For instance, let’s say you’re trying to lose weight. It’s a tough ask, because it means giving up your regular eating habits and conforming to a tighter schedule.
But ‘what if’ you did do that? Just for today. What if you ate enough broccoli and kept your caloric intake under a certain amount? Surely you’d feel much better for the effort, right? Absolutely. So why not continue using that what-if mindset to think that among the hurricane of self-doubt and worry, you can always use your natural curiosity as leverage going forward. That’s a brilliant approach to take, and it’ll no doubt provide you with a sense of confidence and motivation.
Understand Your Purposes & Principles
It’s very easy to inaccurately assess who you are and what your motivations may be. Perhaps you’re a pathetic weasel right now. That’s fine, there are many out there. It’s fine to be weak. It’s not fine to stay weak. But you don’t have to chastise yourself each day for it. You can just find your purpose and curate your principles and move forward. The more you prove yourself and keep your promise to yourself, the more you’ll realize that your own opinion of who you are is incredibly important, and also the most (rightfully) positive out there. That sounds like a promising result!
With this advice, we hope you can adopt the ‘yes, I can do it’ mentality, and curate accurate self-assessments that need not be so condemnatory.
Wishing you the very best,
Suzie Carr, novelist