Why You Need Adversity

AdversityHere’s why you need adversity in life. Without it you won’t grow. The lessons you need to learn won’t present themselves without it.

Recently a friend of mine ran into some adversity and she turned to me for guidance on how to move forward.

I tried earnestly to say something to her that would spring joy back into her life, but was at a total loss for words. What do you say to someone who suffers a break in hope? “Don’t worry. It’ll get better with time?”

Adversity Happens

Most of us have been in that place where we feel humiliated, overwhelmed, and hopeless all in one. This is not one of life’s places we want anyone we care about to be.

Growth Happens Too

As deflating as adversity can feel at the moment, I believe it puts us in a place that helps us grow into even better people. Without pain, without agony, without defeat, we have no frame of reference on which to judge greatness when it shines itself onto our life.

Adversity’s Positive Twist

I am a firm believer that defining moments, like the one my friend was going through, shape our lives just as the powerful storms and angry volcanoes of years past have shaped Earth. Without conflict, we’d have no Grand Canyon, no Mount Everest, no separate continents, and in respect to our singular lives, no respect for ordinary days when all is calm and right.

And just as the storm clouds clear and open up to bright blue, sunny skies, so too will this shroud of regret for the past and fear of the future be lifted for my friend.

Wishing you the best always,
Suzie

Adversity is temporary.

8 replies
  1. lara
    lara says:

    Very Thoughtful and A Great Insight Suzie. I recently had the same experience with someone close to me. However I was the one to crush her hopes and me ( will never forgive myself for that nor should anyone else). She was going to give up on life and had nothing to look forward to. I reminded her that she has the future of her children to look forward, the eventual grandchildren, marriages and more. I also reminded her of her faith in god and how precious that was for her. I told her that she will find strength and peace in the scriptures. She is doing much better these day, but there s still days that she will struggle. I don’t know how much I helped her but I figured that I owed at least that much.

    Reply
    • Suzie Carr
      Suzie Carr says:

      Sounds like you helped your friend a great deal Lara. When life is in the balance like that, you must trust and follow your heart and say what it’s guiding you to say. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  2. Robin L.
    Robin L. says:

    Great insight, Suzie. Honestly, sometimes things are just so bad at the moment for people that presenting an immediate silver lining is just not what is needed at the time. Sometimes the moment just calls for listening. Or hugs. Sometimes it calls for, “Okay, is there anything I can do for you right now?” This is something that I may offer when people are experiencing grief. I can make phone calls. I can make coffee. If it is something a little less dramatic, like a break-up, I can make gin and tonic :). I try to infuse hope into the discussion where it naturally fits in without sounding overly cheerful or pushing it. That can annoy a person if they are feeling crappy. Overall, I think consistent support makes all the difference.

    Reply
    • Suzie Carr
      Suzie Carr says:

      I love what your suggestion of asking the person ‘is there anything I can do for you right now.’ That questions lets the person know you care, and allows the person to ask for the help she needs. Thank you Robin!

      Reply
  3. Liz Conrad
    Liz Conrad says:

    Thanks for sharing Suzie. I agree adversity is short lived and does tend to shape people and provide for more growth. It is just hard to see that in the midst of the situation. I have found that many times, friends don’t expect their friends to have all the answers. It is just important that they feel as if they have a safe place to voice all of their concerns no matter how dark they may be at the time. It just helps to have as Robin suggested someone to ask a direct question and put it back on your friend to tell you what she needs. The majority of the time just knowing they have someone there to listen is what they need most of all. I hope you were able to provide that for your friend. Sincerely, Liz Conrad

    Reply
    • Suzie Carr
      Suzie Carr says:

      I agree about being that safe place, Liz. I find such comfort in the safety of my friendships. The sense of peace in knowing someone you care about is there, regardless if words are stated, is one of the best feelings in the world. Thanks for chiming in on this post:)

      Reply

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