Turn Uncertainty into Opportunity

Uncertainty is as much a part of life as breathing. Most of us fear uncertainty on some level. We may fear things like getting into a car accident on the way to the grocery store, losing our job that we love, finding out we didn’t get that promotion we sought, missing out on a fun vacation because of a lack of funds, having our car not start on an important meeting day.

You’re not alone if you’ve had these thoughts. But what makes us have these thoughts in the first place? Some experts might say it’s our intolerance of uncertainty that causes us to fear it.

The Fear of Uncertainty

Interestingly enough, many of us view uncertainty as a bad thing. We attribute a bad outcome to its presence. But what if that uncertainty is necessary for you to get to a new place, a better place? What if these uncertain situations create good outcomes in the end?

I don’t believe a lot of us think of it this way. And by not, we may very well be missing out on a beautiful broad scale view of our life.

In life anything can happen. On a very basic level, we all accept this. Why? Because it’s fact. Life is full of uncertainty. That’s the fact. We can’t escape it. Therefore, we have two choices. Accept it or resist it.

Resist and Persist

Of course by resisting anything, you actually cause it to persist. Why? Because your thoughts center on it, forcing it under the rug, into the corner, out of view. And we all know what happens when we center our thoughts on something, right? We bring it into our reality and give it control. And, we also breathe air into it. The result? We fuel its fire.

We resist the current state and thus end up focusing on what we don’t want instead of what we actually do want. So what’s the solution here? Well, instead of fighting the uncertainty, we can embrace it. We embrace what’s happening so we can focus on its lessons and possibilities.

So, how the hell do you do that?

Allow yourself to feel the pain associated with the uncertainty.

Firstly, don’t run from it. Secondly, don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. When you embrace the situation, you are no longer the victim of circumstance. You are the creator of a new state of being.

Be open to the lessons.

Accept that what is happening is happening. There’s always a lesson to learn from adversity and challenges. Facing them is how we grow and become stronger. Often the pain we feel when faced with an uncertain situation stems from our thinking that this shouldn’t be happening in the first place.

No one deserves trauma, illness, or heartbreak. It sucks when it happens. It’s scary. It feels like a curse, or an undeserved punishment. That point is obvious, and unmistakably true. But here’s another truth, they happen. And when they do, we need to deal with them. To question why things happen, is a waste. They simply happen, unfortunately. They touch every single living being on this planet in some capacity.

The more beneficial question to ask is what can be learned from all of this. Because when we place ourselves in the seeking of knowledge position, we not only help ourselves to rise above the pain, but we help others as well. And that’s really what living a life of purpose is all about, right?

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Stop resisting.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others is to realize that circumstances don’t cause the pain, but rather our resistance to those circumstances cause the pain. Give yourself a moment to let that concept sink in. Let it marinate. Understand that resistance to uncertainty is the cause of your pain. When you can accept this, you will make a shift forward.

Accept the situation.

What if what is happening is supposed to happen? If we try to stop it or ignore it, we miss out on something. Think about turning points in your life and how they moved you to where you are today. Without that breakup, perhaps you wouldn’t be married to your soulmate now. And if you didn’t experience that health problem, perhaps you wouldn’t have known to urge your friends and family to be mindful of their health. And, they wouldn’t be living that healthiest version of themselves as a result. What about that financial crisis? Well, perhaps you wouldn’t have had the drive to make something else happen like earn that degree, move to a new state, land in a better job, or learn the value of simplicity.

Let’s imagine for a moment…

uncertaintyLet’s imagine for a minute that your ultimate wish in life is to end up happily married. All your energy goes into finding your perfect lover. You eventually find yourself in love with someone, but then that someone breaks your heart. Maybe this person cheats or admits the love isn’t reciprocal.

Automatically, you may look at the uncertainty of this situation and think you screwed up, something must be wrong with you, if only you had been smarter, prettier, fitter, or richer. Or maybe you think the universe is just out to get you for something you did years ago, something for which you still haven’t forgiven yourself. Or maybe you just assume you’re doomed to live a lonely life, drowning in a future of uncertainty.

Fast forward…

Well, indulge my whim and take a trip with me… let’s fast forward a year or two after the heartbreak.

Let’s say that as a result of the breakup, you changed. You changed your habits and patterns. Maybe you took up dancing, which landed you in the exact place where you eventually meet your new love. You end up meeting the person who fits into your heart and soul. Amidst the uncertainty came a gift. What happened with the former love was supposed to happen because you weren’t ready or your future lover wasn’t ready to meet you yet. Everything in good time, right?

If you hadn’t experienced the breakup, you may not have considered taking up dancing as a way of healing your broken heart. And thus you would likely never have met your new love.

Look for the opportunity.

In other words, if you can approach uncertain situations no matter how scary and hopeless they seem, with the idea that something new, something promising, something hopeful will eventually result from you having gone through it, then you open yourself up to weathering through uncertainty with your heart intact.

You had to suffer heartbreak to clean the path for a brighter future. Without that heartbreak, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.

It can be hard to imagine goodness coming out of heartbreak when it’s happening. But, if you can train your brain now to cope by finding the seed to hope in uncertainty, then you’ll be in a better position to come out just fine on the other side of hardship.

We all have desires.

We see what we want way ahead of us. That shiny career with purpose. A family. A home in a safe community where you can walk out your front door with your dog and take a good long walk around the neighborhood without fear for your well-being. We work to create that reality through action and believe if we focus on achieving our desires, we’ll get them.

And I believe that’s true. But, here’s the thing that trips most people up and blocks them from getting there – they stumble upon obstacles. Hey, we all do. It’s almost a guarantee that the road to our desires will be anything but straight and open. We’re going to encounter walls. And we have to learn how to navigate around and over these walls. We’re going to find mountains. Essentially, we have to understand that we can climb them. We’re going to have disappointment, fear, and roadblocks.

Unfortunate situations happen to us.

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If we keep focused on our desires and keep moving forward in the company of these uncertainties, we’ll eventually get there. It may not happen as we see it should. In fact, it rarely does. Life may take us up, down, backward, forward, sideways many times over. So, if we can learn to move and flow with uncertainty, we’ll gain the insights, strength, and wisdom to be exactly where we want to be.

We may never come to understand why bad things happen to us. And that’s okay. We don’t need to understand and solve everything. Sometimes, the best things we can do when faced with uncertainty is to let go of trying to control it.

By going with the flow of it, we open up to new pathways. These pathways can lead us to new places capable of bringing us face-to-face with those people, places, and things in life that are meant for us.

If you’re struggling right now, please understand that everything is temporary and you will be okay. You’ll be okay. Life is full of ups and downs. You will get through the rough patches. Life will offer you rest in between moments of struggle. Furthermore, it will lift you to a better place. You will see that life, with all it’s uncertainty, is a beautiful gift. Everything is going to be okay.

Here’s to embracing life’s curves!

All the best,

Suzie Carr, Author of Amazon #1 Bestselling Lesbian Romance novel, The Curvy Side of Life

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